Baby Blues
Hello hello! If you’re listening to this after your baby is born, welcome to the 4th trimester. This video is all about the baby blues and will hopefully bring some comfort with either normalizing some feelings, letting you know that this is healthy common normal and also includes some resources down below.
So research says that 85% of birthing people will experience the baby blues, and I always say that the other 15% were lying, or in denial or maybe called it ‘postpartum elation’ when they said they didn’t.
To be honest, experiencing the baby blues is a bit of an expectation that I have from all parents. For example, if in pre-pregnancy you weren’t sleeping, literally working 24/7, not eating well, managing a crying little human and relatively isolated from friends and family (or having to entertain them when you’re not physically or emotionally prepared/wanting to) then I imagine you’d probably feel a bit blue too.
So what are the baby blues? Feeling ‘blue’ of course, which is sadness, tears, feeling down, but you might also feel irritable, indecisive, anxious, guilty, overwhelmed, misunderstood, or alone. All of these feelings, and more, will be present at some point in the first two weeks and the best way to get through them is to let them happen. The baby blues may also be blue in a happy way – blue that the pregnancy is over, blue that you’ve unfairly created the most beautiful creature to ever bless the planet, blue that some people never get to experience this, blue that some people experience this without it being as blissful or supported, etc. Baby blues is every shade of blue.
Side-bar – anyone who has either been to a birth or is helping to caregive for a newborn may experience the baby blues, so know that this isn’t a carrier or birther or ‘mom’ specific experience.
Bottling up, holding back, resisting, ignoring, or shoving down will only make these feelings rear their head twice as furiously the next time and sometimes twice as intensely. Irritability can turn into rage, overwhelm can turn into feelings of doom or even a breakdown, indecisiveness can turn into avoiding friends or family or deep feelings of shame and hopelessness. This is a bit cliche, but the weight of sadness is really divided when we share it just like feelings of joy are multiplied when we share those too.
Baby blues for the first two to three weeks are normal and common, but note any feelings that persist or get stronger. There are different kinds of postpartum mood disorders – postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum OCD, postpartum psychosis, etc. This may manifest as anxiety that sticks around, sometimes deep-seated guilt, other times it’s a yearning for life to go back to what it used to be or feelings of bleakness for what lays ahead. Any and all of these are a sign that the baby blues might be turning into something bigger and it’s best to nip that in the bud ASAP. I do think it’s important beginning to use our words to fully describe what we’re feeling – so often I hear, “My friend had postpartum” and in my head I wonder – postpartum is something that we are, not something we had. And if it was a mood disorder, was it depression? Was it anxiety? It’s kind of like turning on the light when something scary is under the bed – seeing something for what it is, it’s form, being able to identify it and describe it and see it often makes it both easier to face, easier to solve, and then helps us de-mysticize this ‘postpartum’ we so often hear about.
So, your actionable step:
Everyone in the home – take a peek at this checklist and check off all that apply. Then, share this with your partner, your mom, your sibling, your best friend, your doctor or me. Take a screenshot of your answers and a screenshot of the results – let us into your head and let us know what’s going on; we won’t think you’re a bad parent and we want the opportunity to love you and support you.
Based off the answers, we can help you find the support you need (or be the support you need! sometimes we drop the ball and just need a little kick in the pants) and help you get over the hump.
And you can do this checklist at any point in the postpartum period. End of month two, beginning of month four, right before you go back to work. Mood disorders, just like other illnesses like the flu, aren’t timed or predictable and can strike whenever they so please.
Hello hello! If you’re listening to this after your baby is born, welcome to the 4th trimester. This video is all about the baby blues and will hopefully bring some comfort with either normalizing some feelings, letting you know that this is healthy common normal and also includes some resources down below.
So research says that 85% of birthing people will experience the baby blues, and I always say that the other 15% were lying, or in denial or maybe called it ‘postpartum elation’ when they said they didn’t.
To be honest, experiencing the baby blues is a bit of an expectation that I have from all parents. For example, if in pre-pregnancy you weren’t sleeping, literally working 24/7, not eating well, managing a crying little human and relatively isolated from friends and family (or having to entertain them when you’re not physically or emotionally prepared/wanting to) then I imagine you’d probably feel a bit blue too.
So what are the baby blues? Feeling ‘blue’ of course, which is sadness, tears, feeling down, but you might also feel irritable, indecisive, anxious, guilty, overwhelmed, misunderstood, or alone. All of these feelings, and more, will be present at some point in the first two weeks and the best way to get through them is to let them happen. The baby blues may also be blue in a happy way – blue that the pregnancy is over, blue that you’ve unfairly created the most beautiful creature to ever bless the planet, blue that some people never get to experience this, blue that some people experience this without it being as blissful or supported, etc. Baby blues is every shade of blue.
Side-bar – anyone who has either been to a birth or is helping to caregive for a newborn may experience the baby blues, so know that this isn’t a carrier or birther or ‘mom’ specific experience.
Bottling up, holding back, resisting, ignoring, or shoving down will only make these feelings rear their head twice as furiously the next time and sometimes twice as intensely. Irritability can turn into rage, overwhelm can turn into feelings of doom or even a breakdown, indecisiveness can turn into avoiding friends or family or deep feelings of shame and hopelessness. This is a bit cliche, but the weight of sadness is really divided when we share it just like feelings of joy are multiplied when we share those too.
Baby blues for the first two to three weeks are normal and common, but note any feelings that persist or get stronger. There are different kinds of postpartum mood disorders – postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum OCD, postpartum psychosis, etc. This may manifest as anxiety that sticks around, sometimes deep-seated guilt, other times it’s a yearning for life to go back to what it used to be or feelings of bleakness for what lays ahead. Any and all of these are a sign that the baby blues might be turning into something bigger and it’s best to nip that in the bud ASAP. I do think it’s important beginning to use our words to fully describe what we’re feeling – so often I hear, “My friend had postpartum” and in my head I wonder – postpartum is something that we are, not something we had. And if it was a mood disorder, was it depression? Was it anxiety? It’s kind of like turning on the light when something scary is under the bed – seeing something for what it is, it’s form, being able to identify it and describe it and see it often makes it both easier to face, easier to solve, and then helps us de-mysticize this ‘postpartum’ we so often hear about.
So, your actionable step:
Everyone in the home – take a peek at this checklist and check off all that apply. Then, share this with your partner, your mom, your sibling, your best friend, your doctor or me. Take a screenshot of your answers and a screenshot of the results – let us into your head and let us know what’s going on; we won’t think you’re a bad parent and we want the opportunity to love you and support you.
Based off the answers, we can help you find the support you need (or be the support you need! sometimes we drop the ball and just need a little kick in the pants) and help you get over the hump.
And you can do this checklist at any point in the postpartum period. End of month two, beginning of month four, right before you go back to work. Mood disorders, just like other illnesses like the flu, aren’t timed or predictable and can strike whenever they so please.