BRAIN
If there is one thing, ONE THING, that you learn from this entire roadmap, it’s this.
When I think about the differences between births that have gone ‘well’ and births that haven’t, I genuinely believe that THIS makes the biggest difference.
Decision making is a huge part of labour and many decisions are made even before labour begins. In fact, your first decision back when you chose your care provider will ultimately impact the outcome of your birth. It’s not who you chose to be there when you deliver your baby, but how you made your decision. Was it an informed decision? Or fear-based? Did you feel like you had a choice at all? Did you really understand all of your options?
But that decision’s been made, that’s all done, so let’s fast-forward to the present and use BRAIN for the rest of the decisions that you make which absolutely can still impact and alter your birth experience.
BRAIN is an acronym, easy to remember. Use your BRAIN when making a decision.
B stands for benefits. Explicitly ask about and research all the benefits to the choice (or solution) that’s being presented to you. Be very clear on why this is supposedly so ‘good’ for you or baby because sometimes you might find that a choice benefits your care provider more than it benefits you, and YOU are the client and YOU need to be number one.
R stands for risks. Same thing, explicitly ask about and research all the risks to the choice (or solution) that is being presented to you. Be very clear on why this is supposedly so ‘bad’ or ‘risky’ for you or baby because sometimes you might find that a choice presents more risk or scares your care provider more than it’d be bad or wrong for you. Also, if you’re presented with a risk or two about a certain procedure, solution, event be sure to ask, “Are there any more risks involved?” The list might be long but you might have only been told a couple of them.
A stands for alternatives. Often a situation is presented as black or white, all or nothing, however there’s usually at least a few choices available or at least a middle road. Just because you’re only presented with two options does not mean that is all there is. Be clear when you’re asking for alternatives and even if you think you’ve been told them all, you can always ask, “Is that all? Or is there another alternative?”
I stands for intuition. And your intuition is perhaps your most powerful tool during the entire pregnancy, labour and postpartum period. Even if an option seems like the best or most logical on paper does not mean that it’s the best for you, and not feeling good about it is a good enough reason to not do it. Check in with your tummy, your gut, your intuition and use that as a compass to orient and ground yourself, and point yourself in the right direction.
N stands for now. Does this decision need to be made right now? Is this a now or never situation? Sometimes decisions have a tone of urgency or you’re feeling pushed to make a decision, but most decisions don’t need to be made in the next 60 seconds. Don’t judge by the vibe in the room or your perception of the seriousness of the situation. Simply ask, “How much time do I have to think about this?” Allow yourself the chance to reflect, check in with your partner, do some research of your own and make the decision that feels right.
There’s a link to a BRAIN card with different ways to ask questions for each letter. I always suggest that you save as a photo to your phone so you always have it handy and can access it even when you’re on the go.
If there is one thing, ONE THING, that you learn from this entire roadmap, it’s this.
When I think about the differences between births that have gone ‘well’ and births that haven’t, I genuinely believe that THIS makes the biggest difference.
Decision making is a huge part of labour and many decisions are made even before labour begins. In fact, your first decision back when you chose your care provider will ultimately impact the outcome of your birth. It’s not who you chose to be there when you deliver your baby, but how you made your decision. Was it an informed decision? Or fear-based? Did you feel like you had a choice at all? Did you really understand all of your options?
But that decision’s been made, that’s all done, so let’s fast-forward to the present and use BRAIN for the rest of the decisions that you make which absolutely can still impact and alter your birth experience.
BRAIN is an acronym, easy to remember. Use your BRAIN when making a decision.
B stands for benefits. Explicitly ask about and research all the benefits to the choice (or solution) that’s being presented to you. Be very clear on why this is supposedly so ‘good’ for you or baby because sometimes you might find that a choice benefits your care provider more than it benefits you, and YOU are the client and YOU need to be number one.
R stands for risks. Same thing, explicitly ask about and research all the risks to the choice (or solution) that is being presented to you. Be very clear on why this is supposedly so ‘bad’ or ‘risky’ for you or baby because sometimes you might find that a choice presents more risk or scares your care provider more than it’d be bad or wrong for you. Also, if you’re presented with a risk or two about a certain procedure, solution, event be sure to ask, “Are there any more risks involved?” The list might be long but you might have only been told a couple of them.
A stands for alternatives. Often a situation is presented as black or white, all or nothing, however there’s usually at least a few choices available or at least a middle road. Just because you’re only presented with two options does not mean that is all there is. Be clear when you’re asking for alternatives and even if you think you’ve been told them all, you can always ask, “Is that all? Or is there another alternative?”
I stands for intuition. And your intuition is perhaps your most powerful tool during the entire pregnancy, labour and postpartum period. Even if an option seems like the best or most logical on paper does not mean that it’s the best for you, and not feeling good about it is a good enough reason to not do it. Check in with your tummy, your gut, your intuition and use that as a compass to orient and ground yourself, and point yourself in the right direction.
N stands for now. Does this decision need to be made right now? Is this a now or never situation? Sometimes decisions have a tone of urgency or you’re feeling pushed to make a decision, but most decisions don’t need to be made in the next 60 seconds. Don’t judge by the vibe in the room or your perception of the seriousness of the situation. Simply ask, “How much time do I have to think about this?” Allow yourself the chance to reflect, check in with your partner, do some research of your own and make the decision that feels right.
There’s a link to a BRAIN card with different ways to ask questions for each letter. I always suggest that you save as a photo to your phone so you always have it handy and can access it even when you’re on the go.