A Mother’s Blessing
So, you may or may not have heard of a Mother’s Blessing but before I dive into it, it’s really important to give credit to the origins of this type of ritual that which is very clearly derived from the Blessingway. The Blessingway is a Navajo tradition that has been appropriated today to suit our own culture and our own needs but has deep, deep roots stretching far back. It’s a ceremony that traditionally celebrated someone in a soon-approaching transition or as a person embarks on a new adventure, so it’s not necessarily always pregnancy or birth related. And you’ve probably heard that labour is quite the adventure, so that it does make sense that it has been brought forward to honour this new transition. As you research this or maybe you’ve been to a ‘Blessingways’ or two, I try to be mindful that this isn’t a Blessingway because it isn’t being practiced in the traditional Navajo way with Navajo people, unless it is, but that is why I’ve renamed here to “A Mother’s Blessing”. You’ll see other variances of the name but I’d like to maintain it clear that we are not directly appropriating something but still, an appropriation has taken place. I am deeply grateful for this indigienous practice and being able to share in it with families I work with, and I hope that my deepest respect towards the Navajo and their traditions always comes through.
So “A Mother Blessing involves a gathering of the mother-to-be’s most trusted friends and family, who sit in the power of a circle and share amongst one another. Traditionally it is a woman-only gathering and may include her mother, sisters, aunts, daughters, best of friends, mentors — anyone she respects, looks up to or values.
A Mother Blessing helps the woman to prepare herself for the birth, emotionally, spiritually and mentally, for the all important role of a new mother. She feels ‘held’ and supported by those she loves and respects — a great way to help her release any blockages she may be feeling and to allow her to embrace what’s to come.”
It’s essentially a spiritual/empowering/uplifting/supportive baby shower for the birthing person’s closest support circle. A blessingway can be held on the last full moon for the baby’s guess date or any time in the few weeks before. Usually there is food to share and the attendees also share positive stories about being pregnant, labour or parenthood. Some actitivies are:
1. Adorning the mother with henna + flowers: Guests can all bring a few flowers and a flower crown is made for the birthing person to wear during her blessing. Other ideas include hand and belly henna or even doing a belly cast.
2. Birth necklace: Everyone can bring a bead and together a necklace is made. Each person in the circle offers their bead and a blessing (in the form of a poem, a prayer, words of wisdom or a wish). Even for those who are far away, they can mail in a bead and a small explanation of why they chose it and what they want the birthing person to know/feel when they see the bead in labour. Also, in some blessing circles two beads are brought so that a labour necklace is made for mama and a little bracelet/necklace is made for baby.
3. String ceremony: While all sitting together in a circle, a beautiful activity can be binding everyone’s hands together in ribbon. After praying over or blessing the mother, each attendee cuts herself a small piece of ribbon to wear on her hand until the mother-to-be goes into labour. Every time they glance at the ribbon on their hand, they can send up a prayer for their friend’s upcoming birth. Once the baby is born, someone texts out a message to the rest of the group and they all cut off their bracelets together in solidarity.
4. Candles: At the end of the night, everyone receives a small candle that they will light once their hear that mama is in labour to signify her shining light even when the world around her closes in and gets dark.
5. Poems + Prayers: Each person brings somethign special to read or share with the birthing person. Often this is a small prayer, a citation from a favourite book, or even simply favourite memories that highlight why the birther is going to rock their birth and also be an amazing parent. Warning though, tears can coming flowing.
6. Group meditation: I was recently invited to a beautiful blessing circle where one of the participants gifted everyone a group yoga nidra season, which was AMAZING. We all lied on the floor, or sat where was comfortable, and we were led through this gorgeous relaxing body scan, then we all held a thought or feeling or word or intention for the birther and imagined her speaking this word or embodying the feeling. We imagined her riding the waves of labour, being strong and grounded and present, and then we all held the image of her holding a beautiful, healthy baby next to her partner. It would have been a sobfest if it wasn’t so darn relaxing, but I’d highly suggest getting one of your crunchy friends to facilitate something similar or ask your doula, wink-wink
7. Nurturing Basket/Mandala: At this particular Blessing circle we also all brought some sort of flower or element of nature and something for the birther to enjoy or indulge in pre-baby. We created a beautiful mandala on the floor with all of the goods, and some friends even brought crystals and photos of her which were such a gorgeous touch. It’s nice to have something to gather around and if it feels right with you, I would suggest creating some sort of centerpiece or altar that honours the birthing person as well.
And the options are really endless! I’ve been invited to many mother’s blessings, each one is so special and unique, so if you need some more ideas or help planning one or would like to invite, please reach out! I think it’s an incredibly important element of birth prep and if I could force every one of the birthers I work with to do it, I would. Think about it and let me know!
So, you may or may not have heard of a Mother’s Blessing but before I dive into it, it’s really important to give credit to the origins of this type of ritual that which is very clearly derived from the Blessingway. The Blessingway is a Navajo tradition that has been appropriated today to suit our own culture and our own needs but has deep, deep roots stretching far back. It’s a ceremony that traditionally celebrated someone in a soon-approaching transition or as a person embarks on a new adventure, so it’s not necessarily always pregnancy or birth related. And you’ve probably heard that labour is quite the adventure, so that it does make sense that it has been brought forward to honour this new transition. As you research this or maybe you’ve been to a ‘Blessingways’ or two, I try to be mindful that this isn’t a Blessingway because it isn’t being practiced in the traditional Navajo way with Navajo people, unless it is, but that is why I’ve renamed here to “A Mother’s Blessing”. You’ll see other variances of the name but I’d like to maintain it clear that we are not directly appropriating something but still, an appropriation has taken place. I am deeply grateful for this indigienous practice and being able to share in it with families I work with, and I hope that my deepest respect towards the Navajo and their traditions always comes through.
So “A Mother Blessing involves a gathering of the mother-to-be’s most trusted friends and family, who sit in the power of a circle and share amongst one another. Traditionally it is a woman-only gathering and may include her mother, sisters, aunts, daughters, best of friends, mentors — anyone she respects, looks up to or values.
A Mother Blessing helps the woman to prepare herself for the birth, emotionally, spiritually and mentally, for the all important role of a new mother. She feels ‘held’ and supported by those she loves and respects — a great way to help her release any blockages she may be feeling and to allow her to embrace what’s to come.”
It’s essentially a spiritual/empowering/uplifting/supportive baby shower for the birthing person’s closest support circle. A blessingway can be held on the last full moon for the baby’s guess date or any time in the few weeks before. Usually there is food to share and the attendees also share positive stories about being pregnant, labour or parenthood. Some actitivies are:
1. Adorning the mother with henna + flowers: Guests can all bring a few flowers and a flower crown is made for the birthing person to wear during her blessing. Other ideas include hand and belly henna or even doing a belly cast.
2. Birth necklace: Everyone can bring a bead and together a necklace is made. Each person in the circle offers their bead and a blessing (in the form of a poem, a prayer, words of wisdom or a wish). Even for those who are far away, they can mail in a bead and a small explanation of why they chose it and what they want the birthing person to know/feel when they see the bead in labour. Also, in some blessing circles two beads are brought so that a labour necklace is made for mama and a little bracelet/necklace is made for baby.
3. String ceremony: While all sitting together in a circle, a beautiful activity can be binding everyone’s hands together in ribbon. After praying over or blessing the mother, each attendee cuts herself a small piece of ribbon to wear on her hand until the mother-to-be goes into labour. Every time they glance at the ribbon on their hand, they can send up a prayer for their friend’s upcoming birth. Once the baby is born, someone texts out a message to the rest of the group and they all cut off their bracelets together in solidarity.
4. Candles: At the end of the night, everyone receives a small candle that they will light once their hear that mama is in labour to signify her shining light even when the world around her closes in and gets dark.
5. Poems + Prayers: Each person brings somethign special to read or share with the birthing person. Often this is a small prayer, a citation from a favourite book, or even simply favourite memories that highlight why the birther is going to rock their birth and also be an amazing parent. Warning though, tears can coming flowing.
6. Group meditation: I was recently invited to a beautiful blessing circle where one of the participants gifted everyone a group yoga nidra season, which was AMAZING. We all lied on the floor, or sat where was comfortable, and we were led through this gorgeous relaxing body scan, then we all held a thought or feeling or word or intention for the birther and imagined her speaking this word or embodying the feeling. We imagined her riding the waves of labour, being strong and grounded and present, and then we all held the image of her holding a beautiful, healthy baby next to her partner. It would have been a sobfest if it wasn’t so darn relaxing, but I’d highly suggest getting one of your crunchy friends to facilitate something similar or ask your doula, wink-wink
7. Nurturing Basket/Mandala: At this particular Blessing circle we also all brought some sort of flower or element of nature and something for the birther to enjoy or indulge in pre-baby. We created a beautiful mandala on the floor with all of the goods, and some friends even brought crystals and photos of her which were such a gorgeous touch. It’s nice to have something to gather around and if it feels right with you, I would suggest creating some sort of centerpiece or altar that honours the birthing person as well.
And the options are really endless! I’ve been invited to many mother’s blessings, each one is so special and unique, so if you need some more ideas or help planning one or would like to invite, please reach out! I think it’s an incredibly important element of birth prep and if I could force every one of the birthers I work with to do it, I would. Think about it and let me know!