Newborn Sleep + Sleep Training
This is going to be a fairly short and sweet video because this is not my lane and I am very much of the belief that sleep training before the 12 week period is up is absolutely unrealistic and not what’s best for anyone. The first three months, where I know my expertise lies, is all about recognizing that your baby is still transitioning to lift outside the womb, is still learning whether or not they can trust you, and the only work that really matters is creating a secure attachment and sleep training before 12 weeks does not accomplish that.
Yes, it is absolutely important to practice good sleep hygiene and it is important to find a way that everyone can rest and feel good about how, when, and where sleep is happening but babies don’t even begin to develop a circadian rhythm until 3 months anyway and neither can the majority of babies sleep through the night without being fed.
Again, not my lane, so please feel free to subscribe to any other beliefs that you know of or hear of or want to try, but know from my end that sleep training is just not a thing in the fourth trimester, or the first three months of a baby’s life.
An adult’s sleep cycle lasts around four hours and we typically can sleep for up to eight hour stretches, of course right not for you this might not be happening because pregnancy pee-breaks are not included in this equation but in general it’s an eight hour stretch and stirring somewhere in the middle. At 2am, or whenever that halfway point is, we enter into a lighter sleep and that’s when we’re most likely to be woken up by noises, hunger, partners moving, uncomfortable temperatures, nightmares, the list goes on. Newborns, however, are on two and three hour cycles so after anywhere between thirty minutes to an hour and a half, they enter a lighter sleep and often stir. Just like us, they can be easily woken by noises, hunger, movement, uncomfortable temperatures so that’s why there are things we can do to encourage longer stretches of sleep but their cycles are short and fragile and newborns simply wake up. They’re up every three to four hours to feed anyway so getting those stretches of sleep between partly depends on the safe-guarding their space and partly depends on them. In the womb, they could wake and sleep as they pleased, no care or even awareness of being on a schedule so remember that that’s the environment they’re coming from. And think, you as an adult, do you *want* to be stirring at 2am? Do you want to be waking up or would you prefer long, restful sleeps? Newborns aren’t the same. They’d much rather be sleeping than visiting with you, no offense, so that’s why I say it’s important to be gentle and patient as they figure it out and yes it takes months and no it’s not your baby. So what can help?
Dark rooms, consistency, bed, bath and book, having them sleep in their own space if and when they will, all great ‘sleep hygiene practices’. Take cues from baby and let them rest when they’re tired rather than risk an overwhelmed or irritable newborn who will be much more difficult to put down but also know that consistency does not mean regularity or predictability; things can and will change from one day to the next, and they will have a huge developmental leap at three months anyway which some families feel like ‘mess up’ all the sleep training work they had done; huge myth. Developmental leaps don’t ‘mess’ anything up, they’re a great sign of healthy physiological and neurological development and your baby won’t be on any sort of regular schedule you’ll be able to maintain until five or six months anyway.
So go easy on yourself, I recommend you go easy on the sleep training books or at least set some realistic expectations that what you’re learning and what you’ll be implementing is farther off in the future than closer.
I’ve included a couple resources below both that support not doing sleep training and some people you can check out once baby is older and you’re ready to start shifting and regulating their sleep cycles and habits a bit more. Any questions or comments, reach out via text or call and I’m always happy to hear from you and always more than happy to help you work through anything you see in a video here or that you’re reading or seeing on your own.
This is going to be a fairly short and sweet video because this is not my lane and I am very much of the belief that sleep training before the 12 week period is up is absolutely unrealistic and not what’s best for anyone. The first three months, where I know my expertise lies, is all about recognizing that your baby is still transitioning to lift outside the womb, is still learning whether or not they can trust you, and the only work that really matters is creating a secure attachment and sleep training before 12 weeks does not accomplish that.
Yes, it is absolutely important to practice good sleep hygiene and it is important to find a way that everyone can rest and feel good about how, when, and where sleep is happening but babies don’t even begin to develop a circadian rhythm until 3 months anyway and neither can the majority of babies sleep through the night without being fed.
Again, not my lane, so please feel free to subscribe to any other beliefs that you know of or hear of or want to try, but know from my end that sleep training is just not a thing in the fourth trimester, or the first three months of a baby’s life.
An adult’s sleep cycle lasts around four hours and we typically can sleep for up to eight hour stretches, of course right not for you this might not be happening because pregnancy pee-breaks are not included in this equation but in general it’s an eight hour stretch and stirring somewhere in the middle. At 2am, or whenever that halfway point is, we enter into a lighter sleep and that’s when we’re most likely to be woken up by noises, hunger, partners moving, uncomfortable temperatures, nightmares, the list goes on. Newborns, however, are on two and three hour cycles so after anywhere between thirty minutes to an hour and a half, they enter a lighter sleep and often stir. Just like us, they can be easily woken by noises, hunger, movement, uncomfortable temperatures so that’s why there are things we can do to encourage longer stretches of sleep but their cycles are short and fragile and newborns simply wake up. They’re up every three to four hours to feed anyway so getting those stretches of sleep between partly depends on the safe-guarding their space and partly depends on them. In the womb, they could wake and sleep as they pleased, no care or even awareness of being on a schedule so remember that that’s the environment they’re coming from. And think, you as an adult, do you *want* to be stirring at 2am? Do you want to be waking up or would you prefer long, restful sleeps? Newborns aren’t the same. They’d much rather be sleeping than visiting with you, no offense, so that’s why I say it’s important to be gentle and patient as they figure it out and yes it takes months and no it’s not your baby. So what can help?
Dark rooms, consistency, bed, bath and book, having them sleep in their own space if and when they will, all great ‘sleep hygiene practices’. Take cues from baby and let them rest when they’re tired rather than risk an overwhelmed or irritable newborn who will be much more difficult to put down but also know that consistency does not mean regularity or predictability; things can and will change from one day to the next, and they will have a huge developmental leap at three months anyway which some families feel like ‘mess up’ all the sleep training work they had done; huge myth. Developmental leaps don’t ‘mess’ anything up, they’re a great sign of healthy physiological and neurological development and your baby won’t be on any sort of regular schedule you’ll be able to maintain until five or six months anyway.
So go easy on yourself, I recommend you go easy on the sleep training books or at least set some realistic expectations that what you’re learning and what you’ll be implementing is farther off in the future than closer.
I’ve included a couple resources below both that support not doing sleep training and some people you can check out once baby is older and you’re ready to start shifting and regulating their sleep cycles and habits a bit more. Any questions or comments, reach out via text or call and I’m always happy to hear from you and always more than happy to help you work through anything you see in a video here or that you’re reading or seeing on your own.