Soothing a Baby
If you haven’t read Dr. Harvey Karp’s book yet, you probably will either be recommended it, gifted it or stumble upon it at some point before baby’s arrival.
The book is a staple because Karp promises parents that if they follow the 5 Ss, they’ll be able to soothe their baby. It is imperative that parents learn how to soothe their babies because infants are unable to self-soothe. They don’t even realize they have hands for the first three months, nevermind develop the capacity to regulate their nervous system so it’s so important that parents tune into their newborns and soothe them so that baby’s needs are met (mental, emotional, physical) and that secure attachment develops. Secure attachment sets up baby for a future of proper self-regulation, a healthy, trusting relationship with you, their parents, and also a solid mental health base.
I personally love and use the 5 Ss all the time when I’m caring for a newborn. Some of them are intuitive, the shushing and the swaying, and others like swaddle and soother are more about a family’s comfort level and of course what the baby’s temperament is like and what they find soothing.
So I totally did jump ahead, so let me back up a minute: the five 5s.
They don’t all need to necessarily be done in chronological order but the first S of calming a newborn is swaddling.
Swaddling is an art in and of itself and you’ll find another video on the roadmap all about how to do that and what your options are in terms of swaddling with blankets or the velcro or zipper contraptions. But swaddling is the first S because it helps signal to the newborn that physically they’re safe. They’re used to being in the womb, in a warm and tightly enclosed space, and this will recreate that feeling for them.
So now with the baby all swaddled, you can start to do the next three all simultaneously; holding the baby on their side, using a loud shushing sound and swaying and shaking them.
Just like with swaddling, these three things all recreate different sensations in the womb. Babies are used to being suspended in water, upside down, in all sort of fun positions so the side position doesn’t feel as strange to them as it does to us holding them that way. I’ve seen so many babies instantly begin to fuss less or stop fussing at all just by being held differently so it’s an important S to remember. The shushing replicates that loud swooshing sound of amniotic fluid and blood that baby heard for as long as they’ve been able to hear and it has to be loud. Baby was enveloped in that sound, their sense of hearing completely consumed by it 24/7 so remember to shush LOUD. And the last S of the 3-for-1 is swaying, shaking or swinging the baby. This is where you’ll need to get creative and find what works best. Is it a fast sway, a gentle shake, a vigorous swing? No one knows! Lots of trial and error, lots of trying different things, lots of figuring it out and I promise you, you will figure it out. You can try bouncing on the birth ball, patting their little bums or slow-dancing all around the living room -- try all the things and follow your baby’s cues; they’ll let you know exactly what they like and exactly what they want more of and exactly what they don’t.
The last S, the most controversial S, is suck, or giving the baby a soother. I feel like on TV almost every sonogram image of a baby is one of them sucking on their thumb but they’re not wrong -- the sucking instinct can totally develop in utero and it is sooo soothing for a baby. You’ll probably see that your baby, once born, will want to suck on the breast or on their bottle simply for comfort without feeding and that is one hundred percent amazing and healthy and common and normal. A lot of babies will stop crying once given the soother, it’s a fact, but as parents you’re going to have to do a bit of research about whether or not you’d like to give your baby one. I did put a couple links down below, underneath the videos and articles about Karp’s 5Ss, about soother use if you haven’t already made up your mind or if you’re looking to read up on it a little more.
And that’s how you soothe a newborn! Does that mean as soon as they’re soothed that they’ll happily be put down in their bassinet to sleep a solid three hours? Probably not but self-soothing is something that newborns are incapable of doing. They are unable to rationalize the situation or figure out what they need to feel safe or loved, and they need you to do it for them, and they need this help for weeks and months and years so think of it as a long game of secure attachment rather than quickly trying to figure out how to make the baby sleep through the night; one often precedes the other, and attachment is such an important key in that development and of baby’s development as a whole too.
If you haven’t read Dr. Harvey Karp’s book yet, you probably will either be recommended it, gifted it or stumble upon it at some point before baby’s arrival.
The book is a staple because Karp promises parents that if they follow the 5 Ss, they’ll be able to soothe their baby. It is imperative that parents learn how to soothe their babies because infants are unable to self-soothe. They don’t even realize they have hands for the first three months, nevermind develop the capacity to regulate their nervous system so it’s so important that parents tune into their newborns and soothe them so that baby’s needs are met (mental, emotional, physical) and that secure attachment develops. Secure attachment sets up baby for a future of proper self-regulation, a healthy, trusting relationship with you, their parents, and also a solid mental health base.
I personally love and use the 5 Ss all the time when I’m caring for a newborn. Some of them are intuitive, the shushing and the swaying, and others like swaddle and soother are more about a family’s comfort level and of course what the baby’s temperament is like and what they find soothing.
So I totally did jump ahead, so let me back up a minute: the five 5s.
They don’t all need to necessarily be done in chronological order but the first S of calming a newborn is swaddling.
Swaddling is an art in and of itself and you’ll find another video on the roadmap all about how to do that and what your options are in terms of swaddling with blankets or the velcro or zipper contraptions. But swaddling is the first S because it helps signal to the newborn that physically they’re safe. They’re used to being in the womb, in a warm and tightly enclosed space, and this will recreate that feeling for them.
So now with the baby all swaddled, you can start to do the next three all simultaneously; holding the baby on their side, using a loud shushing sound and swaying and shaking them.
Just like with swaddling, these three things all recreate different sensations in the womb. Babies are used to being suspended in water, upside down, in all sort of fun positions so the side position doesn’t feel as strange to them as it does to us holding them that way. I’ve seen so many babies instantly begin to fuss less or stop fussing at all just by being held differently so it’s an important S to remember. The shushing replicates that loud swooshing sound of amniotic fluid and blood that baby heard for as long as they’ve been able to hear and it has to be loud. Baby was enveloped in that sound, their sense of hearing completely consumed by it 24/7 so remember to shush LOUD. And the last S of the 3-for-1 is swaying, shaking or swinging the baby. This is where you’ll need to get creative and find what works best. Is it a fast sway, a gentle shake, a vigorous swing? No one knows! Lots of trial and error, lots of trying different things, lots of figuring it out and I promise you, you will figure it out. You can try bouncing on the birth ball, patting their little bums or slow-dancing all around the living room -- try all the things and follow your baby’s cues; they’ll let you know exactly what they like and exactly what they want more of and exactly what they don’t.
The last S, the most controversial S, is suck, or giving the baby a soother. I feel like on TV almost every sonogram image of a baby is one of them sucking on their thumb but they’re not wrong -- the sucking instinct can totally develop in utero and it is sooo soothing for a baby. You’ll probably see that your baby, once born, will want to suck on the breast or on their bottle simply for comfort without feeding and that is one hundred percent amazing and healthy and common and normal. A lot of babies will stop crying once given the soother, it’s a fact, but as parents you’re going to have to do a bit of research about whether or not you’d like to give your baby one. I did put a couple links down below, underneath the videos and articles about Karp’s 5Ss, about soother use if you haven’t already made up your mind or if you’re looking to read up on it a little more.
And that’s how you soothe a newborn! Does that mean as soon as they’re soothed that they’ll happily be put down in their bassinet to sleep a solid three hours? Probably not but self-soothing is something that newborns are incapable of doing. They are unable to rationalize the situation or figure out what they need to feel safe or loved, and they need you to do it for them, and they need this help for weeks and months and years so think of it as a long game of secure attachment rather than quickly trying to figure out how to make the baby sleep through the night; one often precedes the other, and attachment is such an important key in that development and of baby’s development as a whole too.